164 Bagel Jokes That Will Leave You Rolling in Dough!

Ever thought of a new avenue to tickle your funny bone? A Hole Lot of Fun is the perfect adventure into the hilarity of jokes that are best enjoyed toasty and with a touch of happiness. Bagel comedy isn’t just about punny quips; it’s a gathering of humorists who share a passion for the ring-shaped delights of the breakfast realm.

This brand of humor is ideal for breaking the ice at brunch or adding a bit of cheer to morning meetings. After all, who can not chuckle at a witty joke about their beloved circular snack? So, let’s not dawdle; it’s time to “bake” your day brighter with some top-notch bagel puns. It’s certainly going to be a “hole” lot of fun!

The Ascension of Bagel Puns in Popular Culture

Prepare to celebrate some bagel humor that’s popping up just about everywhere today!

1. Stop being so bagel-licious, spread some affection instead!
2. When that bagel greeted hello, it was a genuine ‘meet and wheat’ occasion.
3. Heard the one about the bagel that could play guitar? It had a jam session.
4. I once told a joke to a bagel, but it just rolled its eyes.
5. Ever tried authoring a book on bagels? It’s a ‘hole’ lot of effort.
6. That bagel is so cool, it must have risen in Brooklyn.
7. I’m reading a book on bagels. It’s quite the ‘rye’ story.
8. Applause for our bagel comedian, he’s truly on a roll!
9. Bagels are the pinnacle of comfort food, like a hug for your taste buds.
10. Why did the bagel visit the bar? To get toasted!
11. Keep your buddies close and your bagels closer.
12. Why was the bagel excellent at tennis? It had the perfect serve.
13. My bagel just won an accolade for being so well-rounded!
14. Bagels dislike elevator music; they’re more into pop(py seed)!
15. I asked the bagel if it was soft; it responded, ‘I’m bready to crumble.’
16. Lost your job at the bagel shop? Don’t stress; another will come around.
17. That bagel is so thick, it could tell yeast jokes for hours!
18. Bagels never get lost; they just take a different ‘route.’
19. Never trust a bagel. It might be up to something ‘seedy’.
20. I’m not saying my bagel joke is flat, but it needs a bit more ‘proofing’.
21. A bagel walks into a bar, and the bartender says, ‘Sorry, we don’t serve food here.’
22. When the bagel saw the cream cheese, it said, ‘You complete me.’
23. Dating a bagel is easy; they’re always ‘knead-y’.
24. Feeling crumby? A bagel joke is the best remedy!
25. My bagel ran for office but lacked the appropriate ‘fillings’.

Dough-lightful Bagel Wordplay: Puns to Spread Joy

1. When bagels soar, they truly hit the upper crust!
2. I’ve got a whole lot of love for bagels!
3. That bagel is ready to meet its butter half.
4. Why did the bagel lose the election? Due to a smear campaign.
5. In need of a laugh? I know some bagel puns that will get a rise out of you!
6. Let’s be honest, bagels are the whole package!
7. Don’t fret, be happy, and enjoy a bagel!
8. You’re everything to my bagel!
9. Don’t go bacon my heart; just add some to my bagel!
10. I’m on a roll with these bagel puns, doughn’t you agree?
11. Searching for the best bagel puns? You doughn’t realize the effort needed!
12. When a bagel is imprisoned, do they get put in bread lock-up?
13. If a bagel could speak, would it tell bread-tastic tales?
14. No bagels in life? That’s a world I donut want to live in!
15. Regarding breakfast, a bagel is the least you can do!
16. The rounder the bagel, the clearer the circle of life becomes.
17. What’s a bagel’s favorite game? Dough-dgeball!
18. Spread the love as generously as you would cream cheese on a bagel.
19. Feeling blue? A good bagel pun turns that frown upside-dough!
20. Only bagel enthusiasts will get it; it’s an inside “joke”!
21. Bagels and coffee—now that’s a brew-tiful bond.
22. I told my friend a bagel pun, and he hasn’t stopped lox-ing about it!
23. Why do bagels make superb detectives? They always uncover the whole story.
24. Donut worry, if you didn’t fancy bagels, we could still be bread mates.

Everything Bagel Puns: A Flavorful Twist on Humor

1. I told my bagel it was everything I ever wanted, and it said I’m being too seedy.
2. Don’t fret if your bagel jokes aren’t hilarious – it’s all about the delivery, just roll with it.
3. Why did the everything bagel ace the test? It was well-rounded in every subject!
4. My everything bagel is so skilled; it can perform every role in the bakery!
5. Heard about the new everything bagel movie? It has a really twisted plot.
6. An everything bagel walked into a bar, and the bartender said, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast here.”
7. Why couldn’t the everything bagel find home? It had too many directions on its crust!
8. Everything bagels are the best at hide and seek – always in plain sight, yet full of surprises.
9. I went on a date with an everything bagel. It was amazing; they had so many layers to their character!
10. Did you know about the everything bagel that went to space? It’s now an astron-oat!
11. My everything bagel wants to be a poppy star. I said, “Go for it, you’ve got seeds of talent!”
12. What do you call a blessed everything bagel? Hole-y!
13. If an everything bagel gets into a fight, does it turn into an everything bruise-el?
14. Why was the everything bagel such a great musician? It could compose a sym-phonion.
15. I attempted to make an everything bagel at home, but it missed something – I guess it was more of a ‘something’ bagel.
16. Does an everything bagel’s favorite movie always feature an ensemble crust?
17. How does an everything bagel introduce itself at a party? “Hi, I’m well-seasoned in social everything-kets!”
18. Why did the everything bagel seek therapy? It needed to sort out its complex flavor issues.
19. Have you tried the new yoga class for bread? It’s hosted by a very flexible everything bagel!
20. Why do everything bagels make poor comedians? Their jokes are often too crusty.
21. When an everything bagel plays poker, does it always go all-in or just sesame the moment?
22. If an everything bagel authored a book, would each chapter feature a different grain?
23. Did the everything bagel become a detective to solve missing sesame cases?
24. Why did the everything bagel form a band? It wanted to spread some jam!

Timeless Bagel and Cream Cheese Jokes: Evergreen Enjoyment

1. Why did the bagel lose the election? Because it…

was excessively simple!

I queried my bagel about driving. It replied, “No, but I can lox!”

How do you capture an escaping bagel? With cream cheese, it’s the perfect trap!

What’s a bagel that performs magic called? A dough-jurer!

Why aren’t bagels ever lonely? They always come in a cohesive bunch!

What type of music does a bagel love? Anything with a good schmear of jazz!

Why did the bagel seek employment? It desired to earn more dough!

What did the bagel say to the door? “Lox, please!”

Why did the bagel visit the doctor? It had a hole in its heart!

What’s a bagel’s life motto? Life’s better with a spread of positivity!

Why was the bagel an excellent dancer? It had all the right moves!

Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the bagel and cream cheese spreading!

What do you call a sun-baked bagel? A tan and toasty!

Why did the bagel sit on the clock? It was time for a cream cheese spread!

Why did the bagel enlist in the police? It wanted to be part of the whole force!

What did the cream cheese say to the bagel? “We’re better together!”

How do bagels say hi to each other? “What’s poppin’?”

Why did the bagel go to the bar? To get toasted!

What’s a bagel’s favorite day of the week? Schmear Sunday!

Why did the bagel stop watching the film? The plot was too hole-y!

What’s a bagel’s favorite narrative? A crusty old tale with a spread of intrigue!

Why do bagels excel as detectives? They always uncover what’s hole-y!

Did you hear about the bagel that could walk and talk? It was the yeast of the town!

Why did the bagel break up with the doughnut? They were in a hole lot of trouble!

How does a bagel introduce itself at a gathering? “Hi, I’m well-rounded and ready to be spread with joy!”

Bagel One-Liners: Quick Wit in a Roundabout Way

1. I wanted to share a joke about bagels, but it’s quite cheesy.
2. Never trust a bagel… they often bail on you.
3. I knead to bake a batch of bagels, or I’ll feel incomplete.
4. When a bagel plays tennis, do they always win at love?
5. Bagels are the only bread that can deliver a 360-degree performance.
6. I told my bagel I’d give it a spread on social media.
7. Why did the bagel visit the bar? For the boos and schmears!
8. If you dislike my puns, you can just roll with it.
9. I’m not claiming to be a bagel expert, but I do have a hole lot of experience.
10. When bagels fly, they prefer the everything class.
11. If a bagel becomes an attorney, does it practice hole-some law?
12. I saw a bagel doing yoga today; it was perfecting its om-lette pose.
13. When bagels go out, they love to loaf around.
14. Bagels in the military? They’re in the hole-infantry.
15. My bagel won a beauty contest; it was Miss Sesame Seed!
16. Party at the bagel’s place – it’s going to be a hole lot of fun!
17. When bagels grow old, do they head to a retirement hole?
18. Never play hide and seek with a bagel; they always find a hole to hide in.
19. Do bagels at the beach get sandy which?
20. What do you call a bagel that can fly? A plane bagel!
21. What’s a bagel’s favorite sport? It has to be dough-discus!
22. Bagels love watching dough-comedies, always needing a good laugh!
23. I told my bagel it was the yeast of my troubles.
24. When bagels hold hands, do they call it a baker’s dozen?
25. To the bagel who won the lottery: Doughn’t forget your old pals!

The Art of Crafting the Perfect Bagel Pun

1. Don’t go bacon my heart, I couldn’t if I fried… but I can offer you a bagel instead.
2. Searching for the best bagel puns? Dough not worry, we’re on it!
3. When you mix a dog with a bagel, you get a bage-labrador, the ultimate brunch companion!
4. If a bagel ran for president, it would definitely stand on a platform of hole-some values.
5. Why did the bagel lose the election? It was the under-dough-g.
6. Always have faith in a bagel. They’re the only ones okay with admitting they have a hole in their story.
7. Don’t settle for bland humor. Liven it up with an everything bagel joke!
8. When life gives you bagels, find someone with cream cheese and lox down a brunch date.
9. Bagels are the real deal for a well-rounded breakfast.
10. To the bagel that got away: “I never saw-dough coming!”
11. Bagels can’t fly? That’s just a crumby mindset.
12. It’s hard to craft a bagel pun that isn’t half-baked, but I’m rolling with it.
13. Want to hear a joke about bagels? On second thought, it’s cheesy.
14. I’m reading a book on the history of bagels. It’s about time they got the recognition they deserve.
15. If you aim to make a bagel that’s out of this world, you’ll need some space-dough.
16. Did you hear about the bagel that could bench press? It had very strong gluten muscles.
17. A bagel strides into a bar, and the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.” The irony!
18. Bagel puns? I’m on a roll now, so you better believe they’re improving!
19. I encountered a bagel today. It had a very toasty personality.
20. Why did the bagel start meditating? To find its internal peace.
21. Have you seen the new bagel detective show? It’s sesame street-smart.
22. Never take life too seriously. You’re not escaping alive—just like the middle of a bagel.
23. I’ve got a joke about a bagel that’s a real knee-slapper. Or maybe, a seed-bapper?
24. Don’t fret if you make a poor bagel pun. Every joke has its holes.
25. A bagel pun daily keeps the boredom at bay-gel.

And there you have it—a complete circle of bagel humor guaranteed to leave you with a grin wider than a bagel’s hole. As we conclude our toasty journey through the charming world of bagel jokes, remember that the end of this list marks the beginning of your adventures in pun-filled dialogues. Whether you’re spreading joy with cream cheese wisecracks or rolling out delightful one-liners at brunch, the power of a good bagel pun is always a recipe for laughter. So, don’t hesitate to get a little cheesy, keep it all in good taste, and let the good times roll. After all, life’s too short not to savor the yeast of our worries with a whole lot of fun!